• Weigh the cuteness factor versus the unpredictability factor when thinking about using children in the ceremony under the age of five. They have notoriously small attention spans during the boredom of dry clerical recitations.
  
  
• If you plan to have a friend or relative read a poem or selection during the ceremony please have a rehearsal reading to check for mispronounced words and clarity. And for the love of all, make it short!
  
  
• Make sure the groom has some involvement in the planning, even if you have utterly no respect for his judgment!
  
  
• To go with that, enjoy the planning and don't fight with anybody!
  
  
• Understand that this wedding is also the joining of two entire families. If you are different in religion, background or culture, celebrate each side's uniqueness and emphasize the things in common - love for the bride and groom, for instance.
  
  
• Tactfully make sure the mothers understand that this is YOUR wedding. If you have reached a sticking point about something that you don't want to do that your mother does, back off and think carefully and as logically as possible. Where possible give in on some detail if it would make you happier to see your mother's satisfaction than to get your own way. But, if it's something that you absolutely have your own heart set on, we encourage you to cry uncontrollably until you get your own way.
  
  
• For the day of the wedding the bride should have a bag packed for the church and reception that assumes she's staying overnight for two days. An emergency pair of this and that, plus white chalk for touching up smudges on white shirts, blouses, and dresses.